....Annnd We're Back! With a trip to Drooley's! I mean Dooley's.Today was one of those days where I wish I had the ability to see just a few hours in to the future. Not to avoid any major tragedies or life-altering experiences, more just to change one or two minor decisions. Having lunch with a friend today was a good decision. Perhaps choosing a different restaurant would have been a good decision too.
Today I had lunch with my long lost friend Matthew who hails from the greater Woodbine area. We met for lunch at Dooley's, a sports bar environment for anyone who hasn't been there before. We decided on Dooley's because of their $1 draft offer. Who doesn't love a $1 draft offer? It slipped my mind that approximately 98.243% (studies pending) of $1 drafts are actually glasses of water with a few drops shimmery golden food coloring and a shot of seltzer water for the bubbly effect. However, when you figure a bottle of Dasani water out of a vending machine is $1.50 and most likely came from the muddy creek behind your aunt's house it all evens out. On a side note, I'm unsure about the effectiveness of the name "Dooley's." I apologize to any Tennessee fans in advance here, but it's an awkward name for a venue. It's literally one letter away from being "Drooley's" or "Doopey's." Besides, what if Tennessee's coach is fired? Will they change the name? That might confuse a lot of people, especially if the restaurant stays under the same management. Will people who like Dooley's think the new restaurant is a completely different restaurant and not go there anymore? A lot of future confusion that could have been easily avoided with a name that actually has branding capabilities.
Anyway, we went to Dooley's and sat down, full of anticipation for our $1 glasses of golden seltzer water coupled with a delicious hamburger. After we are seated, the waitress begins with the following statement: "I have to warn you..." News Flash: This is not a good way to welcome prospective customers. Thus enters all kinds of thoughts from every which direction that are unwanted immediately before ordering a meal. Does the restaurant have asbestos? Is the food covered in salmonella? Will the water give me dysentery like in Oregon Trail? Was Lyndon Johnson involved in the assassination of J.F.K.? Will "Grey's Anatomy" ever end? Thankfully (I think), none of these questions were addressed. The waitress continued "We are out of corned beef, pasta, and hamburgers. We had a group party last night and they ate over half our food stock." My initial reaction was disappointed, somewhat hopeful, and a bit astonished. Half of their food stock? Maybe they had an eating contest where the winner gets a $5000 raise. I can't imagine any other scenario where a group of people eats half the food of an entire restaurant on a Thursday night with no major sporting event on television. It's got to be a $5000 raise. Anyway, I considered my options quickly and began to feel hopeful again. I wasn't going to get a hamburger, but I wasn't going to have to suffer through dysentery either. Glass half full. It was only after I opened the menu that I became disappointed. Here's the problem: over 70% of the menu encompasses food items they did not have. The waitress might as well have said "Welcome to Dooley's! What can I get for you to drink? Oh, and we have no food. But it's no big deal! I mean, who eats food at lunch anyways?!?!" By no choice of my own, my options were limited to fish and chips or a grilled chicken sandwich. Through Matt's recommendation, I went with the fish and it was all right. I'm not here as a food critic... It tasted like a fish sandwich, which based on the name of it is what it was supposed to taste like.
I must say, despite the fact that the restaurant had no food, it was a good lunch. Great company, cheap golden seltzer water, and a fish sandwich. At the end of the day, life could be a whole lot worse but not a whole lot better.
